Detrimental Effects Of Too Much Self-Control

Illustration by Udeze Nwokobia

Ever tried making a compelling entry for an article? Seriously I don’t know how to start this. Exams are coming up and I feel woefully unprepared for it, Work’s getting harder, have had practically no dating life for quite some time now and I have seemed to have put on some weight in the recent weeks.

Obviously, a few things have gotten out of control in my life. My sense of self-control seems to have been slipping lately. So if that is the case why am I writing about “Too much Self-control”?

It mostly is because I have been on that end of the bridge too for almost all my life. So much so that I unintentionally unlearnt how to kick back, relax and have fun.

That should be enough ranting for now, so without further Ado, let's just dive into it.

What is self-control?:

The ability to restrain acting on that which we want right now in favor of our longer-term goals.

That’s an ability most of us yearn for right?

I mean who among us doesn’t want the ability to actually see through and finish whatever project we started, even though we don’t feel like it? Or the ability to resist temptation no matter how difficult it is? Or the ability to keep our anger over anyone at bay instead of lashing out at the person immediately?

So yeah, generally self-control is a good thing, and pretty much everyone wishes they can gain more of it. If self-control could be sold, it would be worth much more than gold. And that is why we somehow tend to respect those who have and display a great amount of this quality.

But if this quality is so rare, can anyone ever have too much of it?

Short answer: yes! Absolutely!

Long one: You know how there are few people who can accumulate more money than they can ever hope to spend in ten lifetimes? It’s just about the same with Self-control. Though, unlike money, too much self-control can not be stored in a bank, shared with others, or passed on as an inheritance, when the original owner passes on.

As you probably know by now, too much of anything can be bad for your well-being

So how detrimental can excessive self-control be?

• You may be afraid of taking risks, and that may be damaging to your creativity. You may prefer the safe, tested, and verified way, the road most-taken, or playing it by the books. Unfortunately, this way may be harmful to your creativity and if you are at hearth the creative type then it’s “welcome restless-mind-town (where all your nightmares are fulfilled)”
• You may be taken for granted, because of your ability to act in a reserved manner and your inability to gather attention, so you instead suffer in silence and occasionally fall into depression
• You will have problems forming close social bonds as you seem to never do anything stupid (while young) or seem to always be invulnerable. You spend time with others but still feel disconnected, unappreciated, and well….lonely and exhausted (funny enough this one is mostly mistaken for a sign that you might be exceptionally intelligent)
• It gets hard for people to really get to know you because, in order to accomplish that, they will have to peel through the layers upon layers of masks that you’ve so masterfully cultivated and applied in most aspects of your life, and by doing so, losing the ability to form deep relationships.
• You feel like no one understands you, not even those who are close to you. You may even believe that those close to you are in actuality even farther from you than those who aren’t
• You pride yourself on your self-control, but sometimes regret decisions made through the mind of your overly controlled self.

So, while those with little to no self-control are more likely to gain excessive weight and perform badly at work or school, those with too much of it are likely to be stressed out, lose their flexibility as well lose touch with their inner selves, you become a prisoner of yourself, never cutting yourself any slack. You get really tense. Funny enough, how tense you are, usually shows up in your muscles and body structure. You become overly judgmental towards yourself. Nothing ever gets good enough for you. You judge yourself in unfair and negative manners. You wander into the realm of self-punishment and that can be a very slippery slope.